Speak to me only with your eyes...

fascination

2009-08-17T04:04:36Z

I've been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo lately...
This appeals to mean more than anything.

I've been riding my bike everywhere. It has been my only sort of exercise so I'm still staying active. :) I'm drinking more than ever - not a very good thing to do..

alex is here...

to be continued.

remembering the old times with some Shakira tunes and beer

2009-07-13T01:05:40Z

Since my journey on drinking I've realized that traditional American beer all around sucks with the exception of Coors (go figure). Being Mexican, Corona doesn't have the taste that it once had when I started drinking it at 18. But, Tecate does it for me.

Anyway today I'm drikning Coors and my dogs digs it in the cold weather : ]

I'm glad I'm not in this alone :P

goddamn its hot, highest was about 101 -_-

ana_rosa @ 2009-06-28T18:39:00

2009-06-29T01:44:53Z

I can't I've been without a camera for this long. It has been about a month and I'm going a bit crazy..I've been seeing comercials all over the place about this camera and I'm impressed. It doesn't a lot of sweet thing. I wanna buy it but I want it to be in the market for a few months before I decide to purchase it. I wanna check out reviews and see how great it really is. It shoot up to 6400 ISO! that's really awesome..we'll
wait and see.
I've been moody lately..and sometimes I feel I'm doomed in the love department. Love doesn't have to be that complicated..it can be simpe and flow like a little stream or water not like thunder and lightning rushing down destrying things ugh I can be a cheese ball sometimes.

ana_rosa @ 2009-06-24T09:32:00

2009-06-24T16:33:31Z

To dream that you are bathing someone, suggests that you are seeking a closer connection with that person. It also points to your nurturing side.

I was giving him a bath..these were my were results based on the dream dictionary at dreammoods.com

hmm sweet I guess

back to black

2009-06-12T05:21:25Z

Yes, I'm back livejounal. I'm not gonna leave you becaue e out here thoguhts can seriously be a expressed a bit more freely. I feels good to feel shitty and come back to a journal. as the one I'm writing uin.

I've been single for quite a while and I've looked into a few things in my life..and have focused on a few people are gonna saty in mymy llife for as long as mother nature keeps them around. I'm aiming to have somebody to share a few moment in my life and there's one that's been lurking for quite a bit. He's a ppealing a lot more to me than I ever thought..I've been coomtemplating that maybe I should start to write some music. sto write somes weet poetry.
I dont know why I stopped writing. I'm not great but I know with time I can gain more than I ever expected of myself therefore I'm gonna dedicate mys wise summer time to that and photography also. I'm gonna start to save for a camera very soon as soon as I start getting call for babysitting I should be set by the end of july.

Oh livejounal..how I've missed you. : [

possibly the best song for a bitter person such as myself.

2009-04-25T04:24:32Z

Get Gone

How many times do I have to say
To get away-get gone
Flip your shit past another lasses
Humble dwelling
You got your game, made your shot, and you got away
With a lot, but I'm not turned-on
So put away that meat you're selling
Cuz I do know what's good for me-
And I've done what I could for you
But you're not benefiting, and yet I'm sitting
Singing again, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
M'I gonna heal from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me
How many times can it escalate
Till it elevates to a place I can't breathe?
And I must decide, if you must deride
That I'm much obliged to up and go
I'll idealize, then realize that it's no
Sacrifice, because the price is paid, and
There's nothing left to grieve
Fuckin go-
Cuz I've done what I could for you, and I do know what's
Good for me and I'm not benefiting, instead
I'm sitting singing again, singing again, singing again,
Sing, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
M'I gonna heal from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me

update on camp trip

2009-04-13T03:14:45Z

These can be found on Facebook. : ]

There's a lot more photos to come..just a tease for now. I need to surround myself with more adventurous people..that's all I know. : /

Lets go camping

2009-04-10T07:39:33Z

I haven't written in here in a long time. I'm shitting bricks right now because I have a weird feeling about going camping four hours away in the middle of nowhere out in the desert. Population at the Salton Sea is about 270, its ridiculously low and it is 376 square miles! The scariest part about the Salton Sea is that it is directly located on the San Andreas Fault.

I'm also not feeling the number of people that are going. It is me, Astrid, and Buon a total of three people. We're gonna document the shit of this place..we're equiped..everywhere I look I think to myself.."do I need to take this just in case?" It's as if I have never been camping before. I'm gonna be taking off at 3 in the morning. I think everything will turn out fine. With faith of course..faith..hmmm.

ugh..we'll see how everythign goes. I'm ready to do my job and take lots of photos.

I need to update this thing more often. Facebook has got to be worst than myspace.

Peace and Love to all. : )

Coachella

2009-03-21T01:30:39Z

Okay I will eat my words about Coachella's lineup this time around again..why? Because there are a lot of great bands playing that I dont know much about and..good performers that' I've been a great fan of.

Friday has a few

Molotov, Los Campesinos, Conor, M. Ward, Morrissey and the Black keys

Saturday?

Calexico, Fleet Foxes, Gang Gang Dance(saw them at the smell and they kick lots of butt), Jenny Lewis, M.I.A., Thievery Corporation, Michael Franti, TV on the Radio (have been lsitening to them lately..really dig them)

What about Sunday?

Devendra( not so excited to see him), Mexican institute of sounds..they kinda remind me of nortect I cannot see why Nortect is not doing coachella :( I haven't been too crazy about the cure either..Sunday is not as exciting..

I'm not sure if buying a 3day pass for 285 is worth it..we'll see.

I went to last year's Sunday night of coachella and I was more than pleased wacthing, Sia, Gogol Bordello, a few more I can't name and of course Roger Waters.

Wonder if there are a few bands that give you the motivation to dance around a look like a total fool as Gogol Bordello's gyspy funk.

sorta accomplished.

2009-03-20T20:44:19Z

My attempt to write an article for the college paper that I shoot for..
It's an album review for Eleni Mandell's new album :P

A Decade Gone Unseen

Unsigned music is often lost within the world of commercialization, however San Fernando Valley’s own Eleni Mandell’s "Artificial Fire" is an independent well worth a listen, and after seven albums, has shown she deserves the recognition that comes with being part of the modern scene.

First track of 15, "Artificial Fire," (another word for "failed romance," according to her decription in Paste Magazine) incorporates a rock n’ roll tone along with bits sweet jazz, folk, and blues, a theme that continues throughout her album. Mandell mixes it up in "Personal," including a more subtle tone while adding an intimate sound of strings adorning an interest for "only dark chocolate."

The new album reflects Mandell’s maturity level in the love department. One is able to pick the difference between this and previous album, "Miracle of Fire."

Song "Bigger Burn" feeds the listener with a tale of long lost love: "How long was it gonna take you for you to forgive me?" she sings before telling us that "It was a bigger burn than I counted on." With an explosion of her Les Paul guitar, she adds her own 80s sounding Pretenders touch.

According to The Associated Press, guitarist Jeremy Drake played a part in the new album. The artist brought the edgy sound into songs that previously didn’t exist, only enhancing the diversity of her music. A little part of the 60s is prevalent.

Mandell still offers her listeners the jazzy feel they have come to expect, but the album lacks the intimacy and sophistication carried in previous songs, such as "Miracle of Fire’s" hit, "Miss Me."

"Artificial Fire" holds the eclectic balance that should satisfy all cravings in the pop/rock genre. New independent female artists are on the rise (Feist, Chan Marshall); however, Mandell has set the standard for many years and the album deserves the exposure she has previously lacked.

I don't want to be your friend and I don't want to be your lover.

2009-03-09T21:29:22Z

I feel super tired even after sleeping ten hours.. ah. Where my coffee and cheesecake? :(
I fucking love this band..It's kinda nice when somebody shares your interest..it makes you appreciate the music just alittle bit more.

sorry for breakin' your heart my little buddy Johnny. : [

film, beaches, good people, etc.

2009-03-09T08:01:09Z

I'm giving my driking days a rest. I have been driking since thursday evening. That night I went out to celebrate my twenty first..a british pub, had a guinness and a hefe along with a tequila shot..called it a night.
Friday, the sixth I went out for a bike ride only to meet Keagen who I I had meet at the pub the night before. We went down to ralphs got some six bucks yellow tail and kettle chips. We went down to the sista's place where he is staying..talked about his days in colorado, trainhopping from seattle, WA. baked strawberry cupcakes from scratch and oatmeal cookies..watched videos on you tube..dranks a couple more beers..sat down and saw thirty minutes of Amelie..and I could hold no longer so I fell asleep for a couple of hours..from 6-10 got home at 11 in the morning.
That same morning I had to prepare for the firepit that I was supposed to have at the beach. I prepared bean dip..anyway four hours later..I found myself in Venice Beach surrounded Keagan and Anthony (cyclist I met at the bike rides) eating my mothers Rice and Mole driking Jose Cuervo Tequila haha I dance my butt off last night..oh man.
I felt really great today.

I bought myself some B&W film a couple of weeks ago, and last saturday I shot Tom Morello in Downtown! He had some show to raise money for a march that I should have attended yesterday, for International Women's Day, March 8th.

I'm off to bed now..but before I go I'll post some photos for the world to see...this amazing guitarist.

it was a 3200 Ilford..shot at about 1.8 and a shutter of maybe 1/30 of a sec?

my attempt to shoot in very low light..oh thank you Tom for wearing those damn caps at night :(

done and done.

Happy happy day to moi.

2009-03-06T19:50:42Z

Yay, I'm actually reallly really happy. The sun is out, I'm listening to the Pixies, drinkin gmy coffee..looking forward. picture time. lots of love to everybody.

"barcycling in echotown"

2009-02-15T06:26:15Z

Last night was great. I figured I need to do that more often..gather up with people and have a good time. There were about sixty people that attended this bike ride which apparently was very few people. I spoke to a group of people that ended the race early along with me so we drop by some bar on Sunset called the "Little Joy".
The location of the bar is great around Echo Park/Silverlake area..there's a great sense of community out there which I love..it may be hipstertown but people in their cars are very considerate of the cyclists.
It's about my second time going to that bar. Somehow I feel like its a place I've been to a few time before..the reason why I feel this way may be because automatically when you have drink anywhere as long as its not a hostile environment you're almost gonna feel some sort of relaxation..on top of it all there's writing on the walls which sets a carefree mood.

25mile bike ride
Going back to my bike ride..I unfortunately did not finish the ride because those hills in downtown were killers. I biked about twelve miles..it was a total of 25 miles.

Music and the moods it brings
Life's good and there's something about Radiohead that makes me feel like absolute shit. I don't like it because I felt like this last week. I am only gonna allow myself to feel like shit once of twice a month. I guess it's better that I get it out my system now before March. Otherwise, I'm gonna be miserable when I turn twenty because I'll probably drink more if I feel like shit. I don't want to turn into some alcoholic.

Traveling Alcoholics
There are a few things I will be doing next month and the month after that. It's something I'm looking forward to if everything falls together accordingly. One of it being my trip to Portland, Oregon. I'm thinking of even going up to Seattle, Washington but that would be a stretch.

Friendships gone to hell
Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I focus more on myself. I'm a bad friend. I try to be great with family..I've been doing the best I can this past month..but unfrotunately in the friendship department I'm not doign too sharp. It makes me feel horrible but I'm not gonna let that affect me because after all friends come and go but only the true friends stay there through out one's life. I'm thankful that the few friends I have understand me and my ways of not keeping touch. I sometimes isolate myself..I'm selfish and yes, maybe when I feel like shit I go ahead and contact them. Its not right, I know but I do it anyway.
I'll change. I believe I can make a change for myself and for those few close friends around me.

changes and discoveries
Something I discovered about myself today was that I only know about 67% of myself.
Myself, meaning what's in and what's out. Physical and Emotional. Mental and Spiritual. People all flow differently. It is something I must learn to accept. I've had a difficult time accepting that I'm not moving as fast I would like. I'm tryijng to stay focused so that my life flows like those of the "Wise". I want a smooth landing. I want to learn what goes into that jet plane. I want to learn all its technical functions. I want to be prepared for the big take off but I also want to be prepared for the bad climate that has yet to be endured. I want to live life the fast way but it only seems to be draining me. So from this moment on I will take it slow and listen to those around me.

I was wearing a shirt that exposed my neck and my shoulders today. As I was looking in the mirror I decided to take a look at how my hair looking from the back and noticed something different. I focused into the mirror a little more and realized that I had a mole I had never seen before. The reason why I just discovered it was because all these years my hair covered my back most of the time. I rarely expose my back unless I'm at the beeach. anyway I was just a little shocked that I had not noticed that little mole and thanks to my hair cut it can be exposed and be consider maybe as a beauty mark. I'm happy I found a little mole..because it reminds of how I have yet to learn about myself and my passions. As selfish as it may sound, it also reminds me of how much time I thought I was giving myself but apparently not enough to take a journey through my own body and discover how beautiful it all is.

ana_rosa @ 2009-02-13T18:44:00

2009-02-14T02:45:32Z

Life's good. I'm going on another bike ride today..it ought to be fun. I'm taking pictures so I'm super excited.

foooooood

2009-02-11T07:08:52Z

I've let two hours slip by without doing anything. I cannot stop my creative mind from running. I want to go to the beach and takes photos... That above, was from yesterday.

I cannot believe I just ate a whole onion, caramelized. My goodness..so delicious on garlic & herb crackers with goat cheese. hmmm what a treat. haha I'm such a food fanatic. I would love to cook for a living...take photos and have such a sweet life doing so..I daydream way too much I think. The only thing missing..was a glass of red wine. yummy

anxieties

2009-02-09T20:21:12Z

I think I'm in love with Emiliana Torrini's voice..Best thing is that I will be listening to that sweet innocent voice of hers at the Troubador in Hollywood. :P
So I've been feeling like shit lately because I have not been doing things that will help me succeed. I avoid doing school work and my result is this anxiety. What I think is happening is that I can't get myself to start..But I will today. I should finish all my work today and look forward to cooking that Indian food that is always pleasing to my belly. I have the day off because it's raining. I start three different classes(environmental lab, english 204, photojournalism AGAIN) this week and in a couple of months I start my math.

We'll see what happens today.
Its twelve and I've just woken up.

Grab my coffee,
start this business and let the success flow on me like a sneaky snake on its prey. :P
I'm silly.

ana_rosa @ 2009-02-09T00:13:00

2009-02-09T08:14:46Z

I'm thinking of spending the week of my birthday up in Portland, Oregon. I"m gonna remind myself that this is what I will do in order to save money and make it happen. I must. I need a break.

nude

2009-02-08T18:24:34Z

It's biting me in the ass again..this stupid itch has become an infestaion of thoughts that I would rather wish could disapear with a simple snap.

ana_rosa @ 2009-02-06T11:07:00

2009-02-06T19:08:06Z

The blues are still blue...

swinger eh?

ana_rosa @ 2009-02-06T00:11:00

2009-02-06T08:12:50Z

I sometimes think I will be a loner for the rest of my life because I don't have the motivation to keep in touch with people..and others just plain give up on contacting me..ah

wildthoughts

2009-02-06T06:11:44Z

I'm ready for a transformation. I've chopped my hair down to my shoulders.
I'm ready to turn my life around. I am gonna be serious.
I'm ready for a challenge. I've chanllenged myself already by taking the first step.
Now, I don't know where I'm going to end up but no matter how eager I may be..I will remain patient.

The above is a reminder.

On a different note. I cannot belive how much I'm gonna have on my bank account at the end of the week. I'll probably a little more than 700. the most I've had since last April when I took that trip to frisco. I'm working a stupid job but that stupid job will give me the money I've been meaning to save up. In exactly twenty eight days I will officially be able to drink legally. How exciting.

Oh yes I'm gonna down this bottle of champagne thats right in front of my face..I have a feeling I wont be studying tonight. I'm fucked. I've fucked up my class once again. yeah..I'm not in the best of moods right now.

OUT

my mouth has done

2009-02-02T06:35:18Z

ooo that smell!
I'm pretty darn excited...
Life's definitely heading towards a great direction with inspiring people.
Ideas should flow easily and with time, I'll be able to express them, and free my mind off some stresses.
I see great things coming ahead.
Peace, Patience, and Understading.

I proabably biked about twenty five miles today.
I'm ready for my night's rest.
I'm alive, tomorrow will be another day full of exchanges about how to make the world a more peaceful place...even if it takes to change it a little out here in the smoggy valley.

ana_rosa @ 2009-01-19T18:52:00

2009-01-20T03:10:24Z

I have not have not had the chance to be on live journal because my brother took my computer. :[ I have not had such a good time lately. I think I am becoming an emotional wreck. I'm keeping myself busy with the scond job which keeps away from thinking about lif too much. I'm also taking an evening class. I'm lookin forward to my spring semester because I'm taking classes I can enjoy..I'm also thinking of taking a philosophy course..but again I'm thinking if I should hold on that..school...work..work...school. It's almost neve ending. I'm feeling pretty neutral lately. I feel like I'm lacking "real" happiness, and by happiness I mean being fulfilled with soemthing or somebody. Lately, the only interesting people I meet is out on the street in my job..when I meet old folks. Old people have a lot of wise words, I am often, inspired by their sincerity and drive to keep going. I also meet a lot of humble people, among them, again are older folks. We need more humbleness in this world..unfotunately the humble out there aren't always treated with respect or aren't sympathetic for that manner. I think I may start doing portraits of seniors out in the streets. All these people I see are usually regulars..these are the people that inspire me...oh man I should stop driking this chapagne..

Yesterday came

2009-01-05T20:30:43Z

Yesterday, I grabbed my bike and went down to Hollywood. I met Charbel at Amoeba(record store with the hope of getting to either the beach or my brother's place. I did one, I went to the beach at night and rode my bike along the bike path towards El Segundo. Before heading out there...I was suddenly hit by a car on my way to the subway station. I was set up..with my front light..about to cross the street and bam..nothing too rough very very minor. The dude, Jeremy driving the car totallly freaked. Yeah, He messed up my back tire..bent it a little but that's no biggie. He could have hit a person. I'm happy didn't hit anybody else. Anyway, I ended up walking with 70 bucks in my pocket. I felt kinda bad, I just felt like walkign away and just letting him go about his way. I asked for 40 bucks..simple back tire repair..heck, I would have been fine with 20 bucks. But that just proves to me that Hollywood is not a place where I belong. I'll just walk it next time I'm out there..I'll just be cautious even as a fucken pedestrian. Overall, I loved yesterday. Hung out with a buddy Phil and Laysa. Found out Laysa had a crush on Phil even thoguh she has a dude. It's quite nice to share things with her..It's also hard to keep a girlfriend, rather than a boy friend. I have plenty of friends who are dudes..and well they're all straight. She's the same way. Partly, I think, is because she grow up with brothers and she was the oldest.
Changing up a bit...

Today, I was going through old photos again..and I became somewhat nostalgic. I thought of the seasons of the year..how 2008 just went by super duper fast. So, I come along photos of me at the beach...by myself. I honestly value every moment I spend by myself..when I am away in some place I love. I'm starting to miss the summer. I know its a little selfish..and its not fair to complain about the weather. I have it easy, I'm L.A. for god's sake. I'm enjoying my winter but something about it..gets the worst fucken emotions out of me but..it's ok. I'm able to beat those feelings. I'm able to control my emotions. Unlike two years ago, this time around I'm a lot healthier, mentally.
Life is good.
It is especially sweet and comforting when there is a photo like he one below that gives me optimism. Optimism. There are some many beautiful things in life that I take for granted sometimes. Yet, I'm able to look into the smallest things, teh simplest things and seek beauty in them. That, is something I love.

Enjoying the simplest things goes a long way.